you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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