the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
