you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
