The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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