i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
