It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
