ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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