to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
