He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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