do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
