I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Say something about gay babies.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
