Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
