i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
