I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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