then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
