is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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