Screwed.edu
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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