Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
