there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
