you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just high enough for therapy.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
