Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
