all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
