So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
