Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
