Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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