He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
