Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
