the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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