didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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