i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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