i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
