Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
