cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
