I didn't shave. On purpose
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
