Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
