I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
