I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
vagina is talking i cant
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
