I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
