They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
