Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
