I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
