But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
