you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
we should paint friendship bongs
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