You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
