She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
