Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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