his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
