I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
