i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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