how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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