you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
