that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
